Friday, July 25, 2008

mr. rogers is the only one you could trust

In 15 years, when those who are now rolling around in strollers are old enough to watch VH1, they will be asked the question "Where is the Yo Gabba Gabba guy now?"

What does it take to become the dancing creepy fool behind childrens' shows? Is there some kind of mandate amongst this crew of child entertainers that you have to wear a funky hat and/or choose a signature color? Imagine for a second what a secret club meeting of these dudes would be like...yeah, I'm weirded out too.

What happened to the Mr. Rogers type? Now there was a dude with whom you could have a sit-down and not feel creeped out or have to inform him of the soft white powder left over under his nose. Conservatives love to blame groups like the gays for perverting our society and killing mortality. Who should our grandfathers really be pointing their fingers at? That's right, the "Yo Gabba Gabba" guy. He and his perverse crew of child entertainers send us our earliest messages on how to dress, dance and have fun. If not the conservatives, the fashion industry must be up in arms. I mean really, the polyester presence makes even my skin itch.

The future is looking dim and horribly orange folks...

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